“It’s a hard life being a working cat. There are so many sunbeams I can’t snooze in. Sometimes I get this itch under my chin, and the human just strokes the top of my head. What’s that about? That’s basically torture.

Sure, I interrupt every English lesson by walking past the camera, so the students say: “where did that tail come from?” or “Where is that feather duster going?”, but there is more to life you know? Sometimes I just want to lie in. Is 22 hours of sleep too much to ask once in a while? I don’t think so.

I just feel a bit down sometimes. Sometimes I look at my life and wonder why Lana won’t just give me more food. I know there’s food out 24/7 and I can eat it whenever I want to, but that’s not the food I want. I want the kind of food you have to shout at your human for every time they walk in the kitchen. We all know that’s the good stuff.

Alright, that’s it. It’s Saturday. I’ve spent a whole week looking cute and being tickled. I’m exhausted. I only get treats once a day. That is the kind of sad life I am living. See you later, I’m going to play with a squeaky hamburger.